Feelings

After our Tuesday night class, I have been trying to put to words exactly how I have been feeling.  It was a pretty powerful discussion.  Along with the reading and things we are learning, I am feeling very overwhelmed.  It's not just that things are coming at me so fast, it's because I am making some real discoveries about myself and my family and my friends and how we all live and work together. 
I first have to say how impressed and honored I am with everyone in my class.  To share the things that they did about their lives was pretty amazing.  To really open up and share what we have seen, what we hear, what we live on a daily basis is awesome.  I feel closer to all of them and have learned a lot from them in the short time we have known each other.  I wrote in our five minutes of reflection how I feel like growing up, my family was, and some still are, so sheltered.   How can we raise our children to hate when we ourselves really don't know.  You can't go by what others say or what they feel and share.  You really have to get to know others and to know their cultures to understand.  I think about my religion and how we believe that all of us are brothers and sisters and are all connected somehow, and yet, because we forget this and don't understand we have brought hate into our lives. 
We have talked about borders in our class.  Do we put up our own borders?  Are we scared to learn so it's easier to block people out and stay in our own little box?  Why?  It's so stupid!
I think one thing I have really found eye opening is the history and how it's not so rosy perfect like we learned when we were younger.  I am amazed at the brutality of it all and how this land was and has been a breeding ground of hatred and a bias that still continues.  I love this country and I am very patriotic.  I cry during the national anthem, I have family that are veterans and have fought for the freedoms we have today, but, I can also start to see the other side of all of that as well.  The beginnings and the power struggles that were all so senseless. It has been a wonder to learn all of this. 
I have been testing students at my work, which is a Spanish immersion school,  and this year was the first time our second graders were to take this state mandated test.  Second grade in an immersion school is the first year that English is integrated into the curriculum and the state test is in English.  I felt so bad for some of these students, who were in tears, because they couldn't read or understand the questions to answer them.  It really made me ponder all week how immigrants to this country must struggle when they get here.  I know when I have visited a country that I was unfamiliar with the language, it was so confusing and I was so frustrated.  To me, it made me realize even more how unlearned I am in many aspects of the world and different cultures.  This has all been very eye opening and has raised a determination in myself to be better about looking around, listening, asking questions, and getting to know others more.